Our New Busy Life
I have not written much, because we have been busy lately. I started teaching early morning seminary, and it has been wonderful! I love it, but as I anticipated, I have had to let go of some other activities. Most of these activities are not that important anyways, so it has been good for me to filter out what is not a high priority in my life...like television. Writing in this blog has also taken a hit. Hopefully, I will figure out a way to still write during this busy year.
From August 20 to September 18, we had three sets of visitors. It was so fun for family to come visit. We love NYC, and we love our family. When family come to visit, it is like we are on vacation too. We get to do fun tourist activities with them. The highlights of this month of visitors included:
1. Going to a Mets game with Kayla and Trent.
2. Eating out at yummy places with David and Talia. I especially loved going to Serendipity. The frozen hot chocolate is worth the wait.
3. Seeing The Addams Family with Sherrie, Maren, and Keilani.
We were so happy for our visitors, because we are not able to travel much right now. Our funds are low, and plane tickets across the country are pricey. We are so thankful that these people were willing to come out. We have a line up of visitors for the Fall, who we are also looking forward to seeing.
Teaching on the Fly and Listening to the Spirit
At the beginning of church today, the Bishop came up to me and said what every member dreads to hear. "Our third speaker isn't going to make it today. Would you be willing to share your testimony with us?" He said I could talk a little about seminary, or whatever I wanted to talk about. Now that I am teaching seminary, I do feel more capable of just talking about the gospel at any given moment, but I was still anxious about this situation. What should I say? Should I talk about what it is like to teach seminary? Should I talk about how great the kids are? Should I talk about the Savior or Joseph Smith or the Doctrine & Covenants? Should I talk about serving in the church and doing things that are hard? All these thoughts were rolling around in my head. I was anxious for the first 20 minutes of sacrament meeting, and then I knew what I should say.
I decided I would talk about part of the Plan of Salvation. My seminary lesson on the Plan of Salvation did make an impact on my life, and it would be easy for me to bear testimony about it. I specifically wanted to talk about what it means to "act for ourselves and not to be acted upon." This is found in 2 Nephi Chapter 2. We spent some time discussing this idea in seminary. I like this concept, because this is one of our big tests in life. Once I decided to share this scripture and bear testimony about it, I felt completely at peace. So, I listened and enjoyed the first twotalks.
The first speaker also talked a little about the Plan of Salvation. He ended up giving a longer talk than anticipated. The second speaker was my friend and neighbor (who I did not know was giving a talk today or the topic she was speaking on). Keep in mind I had already decided what I would say. She got up and she started to speak about Agency. She specifically mentioned this idea of acting for ourselves and not being acted upon. I was so amazed, because her talk was so similar to the ideas that I felt I should share. She also mentioned the Plan of Salvation. By the time she finished her talk, we were out of time, and I was not needed to speak after all. I was fine with that, but I was really impressed with this whole experience.
I felt anxiety when I did not know what to say, and then once I realized the right thing to say, I felt peace. The amazing thing is that the message I was prompted to share was the message my neighbor was ready to share. I hope this makes sense. From this experience, I learned that the Spirit can guide us, and when we are guided in the right direction, we will feel peace.
Learning from the Scriptures
I also learned some great lessons in Gospel Doctrine today. I didn't expect to, because I was watching Natalie and Rick was in a YM presidency meeting. They keep scheduling these during Gospel Doctrine. Any way, the last time I was alone with Natalie during Gospel Doctrine I was hardly able to listen to the lesson. Today was different. We were talking about Isaiah ch 40-49. I really didn't expect this to make an impact on me, but it did.
To better explain this, let me start from last Sunday. Caleb has been having a tough time with me not being in Primary any more. Last Sunday he was "kicked out" of Primary. I don't think he was being disruptive. I guess he was acting sick, and they thought he wasn't well. He was just fine. He just didn't want to be there. A couple days later at school, Caleb ended up yelling loudly at the teacher who was teaching that day. He was so angry, and he came home super angry. At one point that afternoon I put him in time out until he could calm down. I frequently do this with him, and he will calm down in about five minutes or so. On this day, he was not calming down. After about 20 minutes of him being hysterical, I had to hold him until he calmed down.
So, I have had a rough week with Caleb. The following thoughts have been going through my head...How many times do I have to tell him not to yell inside? How many times do I have to tell him not to antagonize his sister? When will he be able to behave appropriately? When will he be able to act for himself and not be acted upon? I can't wait for the day when he will be able to make his own decisions without my help. Will he be able to make good choices someday?
Okay. Back to Isaiah. These are some of the scriptures we read, and they seemed to speak directly to me and these concerns I have had with Caleb. Isaiah 40:28-31. The Lord never gets weary of us and our mistakes and our slowness to learn. If we wait upon the Lord, then we can also develop this strength and not be weary. I have felt weary with teaching Caleb, but I should call upon the Lord and try to be more like him. I should be more patient with Caleb's learning process.
Isaiah 44:3-4. Just as the Lord can pour water upon him who is thirsty, he can pour his spirit upon our seed and bless our offspring. And they (the offspring) shall spring up. I do worry about Caleb, and wonder if he will ever get it. Will he understand the gospel someday? Will he behave appropriately someday? I need to trust in the Lord and the blessings of the temple and know that he can "spring up" and be blessed with the Lord's spirit.
Isaiah 46:3-4. There is a metaphor here of the Lord carrying the house of Jacob from the womb until they are of old age and have grey hairs. It seems like the Lord is being compared to a parent, but really he is greater than a parent. Most parents look forward to their children moving out when they are 18, long before their children start getting grey hairs. The Lord will carry us our whole life. This is consistent with him never being weary of us. Maybe I shouldn't look so forward to the day of being relieved from caring for my children. The Lord is willing to carry us our whole life. What great love. I should also try to display this love.
Last one...Isaiah 49:15-16. Again the Lord is compared to a parent - specifically a mother. Can a woman forget her child? She may, but the Lord will not forget. He has engraven us upon the palms of his hands. Our walls are continually before him. This may sound a bit sacrilegious, but I feel like my c-section scar is "engraven" upon me. It is just a reminder of bringing these children into this world, and knowing that I am their mother. The real message here is that the Lord will never forget us and our walls are continually before him. Can I love as the Lord does and continually be aware of the walls my children face? At this point for Caleb, it is behavioral, but someday it could be more serious.
There were many other wonderful passages we talked about today, but these were the ones that spoke to me.
To anyone still reading, sorry to write such a long post. I just had an uplifting day, and I wanted to write it down so I don't forget it.
