Busy Weeks and A Peaceful Sunday

Our New Busy Life

I have not written much, because we have been busy lately. I started teaching early morning seminary, and it has been wonderful! I love it, but as I anticipated, I have had to let go of some other activities. Most of these activities are not that important anyways, so it has been good for me to filter out what is not a high priority in my life...like television. Writing in this blog has also taken a hit. Hopefully, I will figure out a way to still write during this busy year.

From August 20 to September 18, we had three sets of visitors. It was so fun for family to come visit. We love NYC, and we love our family. When family come to visit, it is like we are on vacation too. We get to do fun tourist activities with them. The highlights of this month of visitors included:
1. Going to a Mets game with Kayla and Trent.
2. Eating out at yummy places with David and Talia. I especially loved going to Serendipity. The frozen hot chocolate is worth the wait.
3. Seeing The Addams Family with Sherrie, Maren, and Keilani.

We were so happy for our visitors, because we are not able to travel much right now. Our funds are low, and plane tickets across the country are pricey. We are so thankful that these people were willing to come out. We have a line up of visitors for the Fall, who we are also looking forward to seeing.

Teaching on the Fly and Listening to the Spirit

At the beginning of church today, the Bishop came up to me and said what every member dreads to hear. "Our third speaker isn't going to make it today. Would you be willing to share your testimony with us?" He said I could talk a little about seminary, or whatever I wanted to talk about. Now that I am teaching seminary, I do feel more capable of just talking about the gospel at any given moment, but I was still anxious about this situation. What should I say? Should I talk about what it is like to teach seminary? Should I talk about how great the kids are? Should I talk about the Savior or Joseph Smith or the Doctrine & Covenants? Should I talk about serving in the church and doing things that are hard? All these thoughts were rolling around in my head. I was anxious for the first 20 minutes of sacrament meeting, and then I knew what I should say.

I decided I would talk about part of the Plan of Salvation. My seminary lesson on the Plan of Salvation did make an impact on my life, and it would be easy for me to bear testimony about it. I specifically wanted to talk about what it means to "act for ourselves and not to be acted upon." This is found in 2 Nephi Chapter 2. We spent some time discussing this idea in seminary. I like this concept, because this is one of our big tests in life. Once I decided to share this scripture and bear testimony about it, I felt completely at peace. So, I listened and enjoyed the first twotalks.

The first speaker also talked a little about the Plan of Salvation. He ended up giving a longer talk than anticipated. The second speaker was my friend and neighbor (who I did not know was giving a talk today or the topic she was speaking on). Keep in mind I had already decided what I would say. She got up and she started to speak about Agency. She specifically mentioned this idea of acting for ourselves and not being acted upon. I was so amazed, because her talk was so similar to the ideas that I felt I should share. She also mentioned the Plan of Salvation. By the time she finished her talk, we were out of time, and I was not needed to speak after all. I was fine with that, but I was really impressed with this whole experience.

I felt anxiety when I did not know what to say, and then once I realized the right thing to say, I felt peace. The amazing thing is that the message I was prompted to share was the message my neighbor was ready to share. I hope this makes sense. From this experience, I learned that the Spirit can guide us, and when we are guided in the right direction, we will feel peace.

Learning from the Scriptures

I also learned some great lessons in Gospel Doctrine today. I didn't expect to, because I was watching Natalie and Rick was in a YM presidency meeting. They keep scheduling these during Gospel Doctrine. Any way, the last time I was alone with Natalie during Gospel Doctrine I was hardly able to listen to the lesson. Today was different. We were talking about Isaiah ch 40-49. I really didn't expect this to make an impact on me, but it did.

To better explain this, let me start from last Sunday. Caleb has been having a tough time with me not being in Primary any more. Last Sunday he was "kicked out" of Primary. I don't think he was being disruptive. I guess he was acting sick, and they thought he wasn't well. He was just fine. He just didn't want to be there. A couple days later at school, Caleb ended up yelling loudly at the teacher who was teaching that day. He was so angry, and he came home super angry. At one point that afternoon I put him in time out until he could calm down. I frequently do this with him, and he will calm down in about five minutes or so. On this day, he was not calming down. After about 20 minutes of him being hysterical, I had to hold him until he calmed down.

So, I have had a rough week with Caleb. The following thoughts have been going through my head...How many times do I have to tell him not to yell inside? How many times do I have to tell him not to antagonize his sister? When will he be able to behave appropriately? When will he be able to act for himself and not be acted upon? I can't wait for the day when he will be able to make his own decisions without my help. Will he be able to make good choices someday?

Okay. Back to Isaiah. These are some of the scriptures we read, and they seemed to speak directly to me and these concerns I have had with Caleb. Isaiah 40:28-31. The Lord never gets weary of us and our mistakes and our slowness to learn. If we wait upon the Lord, then we can also develop this strength and not be weary. I have felt weary with teaching Caleb, but I should call upon the Lord and try to be more like him. I should be more patient with Caleb's learning process.

Isaiah 44:3-4. Just as the Lord can pour water upon him who is thirsty, he can pour his spirit upon our seed and bless our offspring. And they (the offspring) shall spring up. I do worry about Caleb, and wonder if he will ever get it. Will he understand the gospel someday? Will he behave appropriately someday? I need to trust in the Lord and the blessings of the temple and know that he can "spring up" and be blessed with the Lord's spirit.

Isaiah 46:3-4. There is a metaphor here of the Lord carrying the house of Jacob from the womb until they are of old age and have grey hairs. It seems like the Lord is being compared to a parent, but really he is greater than a parent. Most parents look forward to their children moving out when they are 18, long before their children start getting grey hairs. The Lord will carry us our whole life. This is consistent with him never being weary of us. Maybe I shouldn't look so forward to the day of being relieved from caring for my children. The Lord is willing to carry us our whole life. What great love. I should also try to display this love.

Last one...Isaiah 49:15-16. Again the Lord is compared to a parent - specifically a mother. Can a woman forget her child? She may, but the Lord will not forget. He has engraven us upon the palms of his hands. Our walls are continually before him. This may sound a bit sacrilegious, but I feel like my c-section scar is "engraven" upon me. It is just a reminder of bringing these children into this world, and knowing that I am their mother. The real message here is that the Lord will never forget us and our walls are continually before him. Can I love as the Lord does and continually be aware of the walls my children face? At this point for Caleb, it is behavioral, but someday it could be more serious.

There were many other wonderful passages we talked about today, but these were the ones that spoke to me.

To anyone still reading, sorry to write such a long post. I just had an uplifting day, and I wanted to write it down so I don't forget it.

Naming the Blog and other Calebisms

I have been thinking about starting a blog for some time, but my biggest hang up was trying to figure out what to name it. I wanted it to be clever. I wanted it to have meaning. I wanted it to be original and witty. As I tried to think over different phrases, I kept coming back to something Caleb said in his evening prayers. For about a week, Caleb prayed, "Thank you for our great family." It really touched me. It isn't that original or catchy. Our blog's name might even sound a bit egotistical, but it has meaning, because it sincerely came from our son. I don't want to write about how great we are, but I do want to write about how great our life is together, and how great it is to have a family. With the ups and the downs.

Lately, when I have punished Caleb, he likes to place the blame on me. If I tell him he can't have dessert before he finishes his dinner, he defiantly calls me a "Bad Mom!" Or, if he gets put in timeout for carelessly knocking Natalie down, I definitely get the bad mom label. I try to explain to him that he is being punished for his own actions, but it is taking awhile to set in. Today, he resisted going to quiet time. When I closed his door I inevitably started to hear my infamous phrase, but today he changed it. "You're a b...good mom, but you use bad words!" I stood outside his room and almost burst out laughing. He said it a couple times, so I know it was not an accident. He may not understand some of the things I do, but at least he recognizes that I am overall "good" too him.

Last night I went to check on Caleb, after a dramatic bedtime ending. He was already asleep. I felt bad that I had been harsh with him, but he did try to come out of his room about 10 times. Rick is still out of town, and I think Caleb is trying to push his limits with me. I knelt down by his bed, and I tried to explain to my sleeping four year old how sad I was to be sharp with him, and that I really did love him. I'm glad that I went in there, because I noticed five different books nestled in his bed. There were a couple in the sheets, one was laying against his arm, and another was wedged under his back. As I discovered each book, I smiled bigger and bigger. Even though I would like for him to go to sleep at bedtime, I was proud that he likes to read so much. I was also happy that he found another way to occupy his time other than trying to escape from his room.

Watch out for flying shoes and Toddler Blues

Just in case some of you are worried about my kids being too amazing, here is the post to bring them back to reality.

Caleb recently was promoted to a big boy car seat. He is now buckled into a booster with a regular seat belt. It didn't take him long to discover that he has a little bit more freedom in this new arrangement. Which is why we now use the child lock on the car doors. I am quickly learning that it is also important for me to make sure his seat belt is in a locked tight position - you know when you have to pull the belt all the way out and let it release so it is super tight. Well, he hates it when I do that. After I did that today, he got so angry. He chanted "Your a bad mom" over and over again. Then he proceeded to take off his shoes and throw them at me in the car. Lucky for me he has poor aim. In fact, the shoes kept hitting the seat in front of him and bouncing back to him (which was kind of funny, but I didn't laugh).

During his chanting and ranting, I wondered what can I do to keep my cool and teach him a lesson. Isn't that the greatest challenge in parenting? I tried rationalizing with him, which did not work. He was too angry to be rational. What seemed to work the best was to test him on our "House Rules". I asked him which rules he was breaking. Despite his irrational behavior, he was able to tell me some of the rules he was breaking. Sigh of relief, we had a little bit of a break through. I really can't say it was a complete turn around in his behavior, but it was a start.

Maybe Caleb's tendency to express his opinions has inspired the youngest Wolfgramm. My sweet little Natalie is quickly becoming a toddler with her new found independence. She is becoming more opinionated and demanding. One of my favorite demanding traits that she has occurs when she is eating. I hate to focus so much on food with Natalie, but food does seem to be linked to her personality in many ways. When she is hungry and I am not feeding her fast enough, she will pound the table, kind of like she is a judge with a gavel trying to get my attention. "Come on mom! Don't forget about me! I'm hungry!"

Her latest demanding attitude is coming out at nap time. I swear, less than a month ago, she was the easiest baby to lay down for a nap. The babysitting instructions were, "Just lay her down." No special instructions. She was so easy to put to bed. She would hardly make a sound. Now, she is not so easy. Today at nap time, she stood in her crib and cried for a good ten minutes before wearing herself out. Is it her age? Is there something I need to figure out to help her be happy again at nap time?

Sometimes I think my kids behaviors are like little problems that I need to solve. How can I help my son not be angry? How can I help my baby sleep? And probably the biggest problem - How do I keep my composure and not get frustrated in the process? I used to think that the kids were the ones learning the most through this parent-child relationship, but now I realize that I am learning some of the toughest lessons that life has to teach.

Both kids are up from their naps now. Caleb is happy. He hasn't tried to throw one toy at me. Natalie is happy. She gave me a huge grin when I rescued her from her crib. One of the great things about kids is that they quickly forgive you for whatever it was you did to make them angry or sad.

It starts now

The idea of starting a blog has been swimming around in my head for too long. I will probably explain the details in a future entry, but for now I want to write about what made me finally do it today. This will be short, because Rick has already come out to tell me it is time to go to bed.

Yesterday, was a really hot day in NYC. I heard that it was breaking heat. We spent most of the day indoors, except for a little trip to the library, which was an excursion, but it was also hot. We lost Natalie's shoe on the way home. I went back to look for it, but decided it was gone for good. It was a rather uneventful day. After dinner, Rick volunteered to take Natalie for a walk. And then, Natalie decided it was time to do some walking of her own. It was such a joy to watch her take her first steps. She was so proud of herself, and when she fell, she kept wanting to get back up and try again. We all cheered for her, which I think helped. Caleb gets so much attention in our family, that I think Natalie just eats up the praise when we give it to her. It was one of those moments when you think, "Life is great".

Last night, I read in the New Testament Reader with Caleb. We read about the Resurrection. Afterward, Caleb knelt to pray. I suggested that he thank Heavenly Father that Jesus was resurrected. When he finished his prayer he said, "I felt the Holy Ghost". Rick and I asked him what it felt like. He declared that, "It felt magical". I just smiled. How sweet for this four year old to have a "magical" feeling like that when he prays.

Today, Caleb got into trouble for licking the salad dressing lid. It is delicious salad dressing, but we do have some limits when it comes to our table manners. We mentioned it too many times, and then he was punished by not having ice cream for dessert. He started wailing. We sent him to his room. When he finally came out, he said, "I'm sorry Mom. Is there anything I can help you with?" I swear he came up with that all on his own. I knew I needed to stick to my guns on the ice cream, but my heart just melted.

Caleb didn't get ice cream, unless Rick sneaked some to him while I was gone.

Miraculously, I found Natalie's missing shoe in the street near our car.