Naming the Blog and other Calebisms

I have been thinking about starting a blog for some time, but my biggest hang up was trying to figure out what to name it. I wanted it to be clever. I wanted it to have meaning. I wanted it to be original and witty. As I tried to think over different phrases, I kept coming back to something Caleb said in his evening prayers. For about a week, Caleb prayed, "Thank you for our great family." It really touched me. It isn't that original or catchy. Our blog's name might even sound a bit egotistical, but it has meaning, because it sincerely came from our son. I don't want to write about how great we are, but I do want to write about how great our life is together, and how great it is to have a family. With the ups and the downs.

Lately, when I have punished Caleb, he likes to place the blame on me. If I tell him he can't have dessert before he finishes his dinner, he defiantly calls me a "Bad Mom!" Or, if he gets put in timeout for carelessly knocking Natalie down, I definitely get the bad mom label. I try to explain to him that he is being punished for his own actions, but it is taking awhile to set in. Today, he resisted going to quiet time. When I closed his door I inevitably started to hear my infamous phrase, but today he changed it. "You're a b...good mom, but you use bad words!" I stood outside his room and almost burst out laughing. He said it a couple times, so I know it was not an accident. He may not understand some of the things I do, but at least he recognizes that I am overall "good" too him.

Last night I went to check on Caleb, after a dramatic bedtime ending. He was already asleep. I felt bad that I had been harsh with him, but he did try to come out of his room about 10 times. Rick is still out of town, and I think Caleb is trying to push his limits with me. I knelt down by his bed, and I tried to explain to my sleeping four year old how sad I was to be sharp with him, and that I really did love him. I'm glad that I went in there, because I noticed five different books nestled in his bed. There were a couple in the sheets, one was laying against his arm, and another was wedged under his back. As I discovered each book, I smiled bigger and bigger. Even though I would like for him to go to sleep at bedtime, I was proud that he likes to read so much. I was also happy that he found another way to occupy his time other than trying to escape from his room.

Life is a Gift!

Yay! I actually uploaded a picture. This blog won't just be about words. It will just mostly be words. Like most things in my life, this is a work in progress. I am so impressed with some of the postings in the blogger world. Maybe someday I will have fancy pictures, but for now I am happy just recording about my family and our life together. Please bear with the words.

I like this family picture, because right before we took it Caleb wrapped his arms around our necks and held us in tight. Like we were his best buddies. It was so natural and fun. I don't think we showed him how to do that. He just did it on his own. Natalie is at least looking at the camera. She looks like she wants to get down and crawl around. Sorry Natalie - it is tough to get us all smiling at once. This picture captured more of Caleb's personality than anything.

Rick is away right now. He left for Mike's memorial service on Friday night. We miss him. He left about 24 hours after the kids and I got back into town. Thursday night we were all home, and then Friday we were taking him back to the airport. I am so glad Rick went to WA for Mike's memorial service. I think it was a positive experience for him to see Mike's family and his old friends. Rick is also visiting with his family, which I know makes him so happy. Jay leaves for his mission in two weeks, so I am glad Rick was able to see him one more time before Jay leaves the country.

I can't speak for Rick on this, but Mike's passing has left a strong impression on me. He was Rick's friend, but I am glad that I knew him too. Mike's death has given many people a chance to reflect on the life he lived. Mike really enjoyed life. He was passionate about life. He was adventurous and creative. I remember him sharing music with me, and books, and poetry, and outdoor activities. He really knew how to live. I am sure he had his down times - like all of us - but I did not notice them as much. He was always fun in my mind. So, the greatest message I have gained through Mike's tragic ending is to live life to the fullest. Enjoy life.

The other thoughts running through my head deal with the Plan of Salvation. This life is a gift. We came to this earth to be happy. Which is one reason why the Plan of Salvation is also known as the Plan of Happiness. This earth life is a huge part of that plan. The other comforting part of that plan is knowing that we live again after we die. I don't even know if it is best to say "live again". Our spirit really does go on living. There is no end. I know that when our time on earth ends, our life does not end. I know that Mike's family will see him again. That is such a comforting thought to me.

Here is a link to Jennifer's blog. Jennifer is Mike's wife. She has an amazing way with words. She has sincerely described the life Mike lived and the heartache of losing him. I hope it is okay if I share her blog. I think her posts have been beautiful, and they really have strengthened me. http://lovecatandcaterpillargirl.blogspot.com/

Missing Rick and Life is Fragile

The kids and I have been out of town for 9 days. We came home tonight, and it feels good to be back in our home with Rick. Before I left town, I told a friend of mine that I really don't like going on vacation without Rick. When we lived in Buffalo and now that we live in NYC, it is common for moms to leave town with the kids while the dads stay home and work. We live far away from grandparents in the west, so I understand why so many families do this during the summer. I don't have the luxury to take off for a long period of time, because I also have a job. I am impressed with the moms who do make these long summer trips happen, because I get to a point when it is really tough for me to be gone without my husband. As I explained this to my friend, she was quick to realize that Rick must be a big help to me. He really is. I am so glad to be back home with him.

Rick is a wonderful husband and father. He likes to play with the kids, and he likes to challenge them to try new things. He is the one who taught Caleb how to spell his name, and he taught Natalie how to give high fives. While we were gone, he cleaned our apartment. I hate to admit this, but it was probably the cleanest it has ever been since we have lived here. It looked awesome. There are many times when I think, I am so lucky to be married to him.

Rick is generally a positive guy. He has not cried since he was 12 (or maybe younger). So you guessed it, I have never seen him cry. I am the opposite in the emotional department. I've been known to cry at small things, like if our kids start acting up. Since Rick shows emotion differently than me, it is tough to know if something really bothers him.

Tonight when Rick picked us up from the airport, he told me that he had some bad news. Rick only shares bad news if it really is bad, so I knew this was serious. He told me that his friend from high school, Mike McCullough, had passed away in a scuba diving accident. Wow. We talked about it for a little while, but I think I was mostly in shock. I had known Mike while Rick and I were dating. He came to our wedding, and we would run into him every other Christmas in WA. I didn't really know what Rick thought about all of this.

We came home. He watched Natalie wobble around the room and rediscover the toys she hadn't seen in 9 days. He helped Caleb get ready for bed by reading him a story and brushing his teeth. And then, when the kids were mostly in bed...I mean mostly because their time schedules were so off that they were not falling asleep. Rick checked out some facebook posts and some blog posts about Mike. He tried calling Mike's parents. We laid in bed talking about what had happened. That's when I realized that most of the night his mind was back in high school remembering Mike. I think Mike's death has affected him more than any other death he has known. Maybe it is because Mike was so young with a young family. Maybe it is because Rick wished he had been in better touch with his old friends. But, I think mostly it is because Rick had a relationship with Mike at a crucial point in his life. Adolescence is a crucial time, and I think Mike helped shape Rick into the person he is today.

We will miss you Mike, and we pray for your family. We are so grateful for the gospel and the knowledge that life goes on after we die.

Quinoa Pilaf & Sweet Potato Fries

Here are two more recipes I tried that I liked. The Quinoa Pilaf was super yummy. I will definitely make it again. It is even great chilled. Can I say that I LOVE QUINOA! The sweet potato fries were pretty good. I wish I could get them a little bit more crispy, but they still tasted great. The avocado dip was also super yummy...a little spicy, but not bad.

Quinoa Pilaf with Pine Nuts

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/quinoa-pilaf-with-pine-nuts-recipe/index.html

Ingredients

• 1 cup quinoa, rinsed
• 1/4 cup pine nuts
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1/2 large onion, chopped
• 1/3 cup chopped fresh parsley leaves
• Salt and pepper
• 2 cups low-sodium chicken broth

Directions

Put the broth and quinoa in a medium sized saucepan and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to a simmer, cover and cook for 15 to 20 minutes, until liquid is absorbed and grain is tender.

Meanwhile, toast the nuts in a large dry skillet over medium-high heat until golden brown and fragrant, about 2 minutes, stirring frequently. Remove nuts from pan and set aside. Heat the oil in the same skillet over a medium-high heat. Add the onions and cook stirring occasionally, until the onions soften and begin to brown, about 6 minutes.

When the quinoa is done, fluff with a fork and transfer to a large serving bowl. Stir in the pine nuts, onions, and parsley. Season with salt and pepper and serve.

Per Serving:

Calories 180; Total Fat 8 g; (Sat Fat 1 g, Mono Fat 3 g, Poly Fat 3 g) ; Protein 6 g; Carb 23 g; Fiber 2 g; Cholesterol 0 mg; Sodium 30 mg

Sweet Potato Oven Fries with Avocado Dip

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ingrid-hoffmann/sweet-potato-oven-fries-with-avocado-dip-recipe/index.html

Ingredients

Sweet Potato Fries:

• 2 large sweet potatoes, peeled or unpeeled, cut into 4-inch long and 1/4 to 1/2-inch thick fries
• 2 tablespoons olive oil, or more as needed
• 1 teaspoon paprika
• 1/2 teaspoon chili powder
• 1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
• Coarse ground rock salt and freshly ground black pepper, to taste
• Avocado Dip, recipe follows

Directions

Preheat your oven to 450 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with aluminum foil and set aside.

Place the sweet potatoes in a large bowl and toss with olive oil until the sweet potatoes are coated. Add the paprika, chili powder, coriander, salt, and pepper; toss to distribute evenly.

Arrange the coated fries in a single layer on the prepared pan. Bake for 20 minutes on the lower rack until the sweet potatoes soften. Transfer the pan to the upper rack of the oven and bake 10 minutes longer, until fries are crispy. Serve with Avocado Dip.

Avocado Dip:

• 1 avocado, see Cook's Note*
• 1/3 cup mayonnaise
• 1/3 cup cream cheese
• 1 jalapeno, seeded and chopped.
• 2 scallions, white and light green part only, chopped
• 1 lime, juiced
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper

Place the avocado, mayonnaise, cream cheese, jalapeno, scallions, and lime juice into a blender or small food processor. Blend for 1 minute or until you have a smooth paste. Season with salt and pepper, to taste. Serve as a dip for the Sweet Potato Oven Fries.

* Cook's Note: We find that Hass avocados make the smoothest and best tasting Avocado dip.

Watch out for flying shoes and Toddler Blues

Just in case some of you are worried about my kids being too amazing, here is the post to bring them back to reality.

Caleb recently was promoted to a big boy car seat. He is now buckled into a booster with a regular seat belt. It didn't take him long to discover that he has a little bit more freedom in this new arrangement. Which is why we now use the child lock on the car doors. I am quickly learning that it is also important for me to make sure his seat belt is in a locked tight position - you know when you have to pull the belt all the way out and let it release so it is super tight. Well, he hates it when I do that. After I did that today, he got so angry. He chanted "Your a bad mom" over and over again. Then he proceeded to take off his shoes and throw them at me in the car. Lucky for me he has poor aim. In fact, the shoes kept hitting the seat in front of him and bouncing back to him (which was kind of funny, but I didn't laugh).

During his chanting and ranting, I wondered what can I do to keep my cool and teach him a lesson. Isn't that the greatest challenge in parenting? I tried rationalizing with him, which did not work. He was too angry to be rational. What seemed to work the best was to test him on our "House Rules". I asked him which rules he was breaking. Despite his irrational behavior, he was able to tell me some of the rules he was breaking. Sigh of relief, we had a little bit of a break through. I really can't say it was a complete turn around in his behavior, but it was a start.

Maybe Caleb's tendency to express his opinions has inspired the youngest Wolfgramm. My sweet little Natalie is quickly becoming a toddler with her new found independence. She is becoming more opinionated and demanding. One of my favorite demanding traits that she has occurs when she is eating. I hate to focus so much on food with Natalie, but food does seem to be linked to her personality in many ways. When she is hungry and I am not feeding her fast enough, she will pound the table, kind of like she is a judge with a gavel trying to get my attention. "Come on mom! Don't forget about me! I'm hungry!"

Her latest demanding attitude is coming out at nap time. I swear, less than a month ago, she was the easiest baby to lay down for a nap. The babysitting instructions were, "Just lay her down." No special instructions. She was so easy to put to bed. She would hardly make a sound. Now, she is not so easy. Today at nap time, she stood in her crib and cried for a good ten minutes before wearing herself out. Is it her age? Is there something I need to figure out to help her be happy again at nap time?

Sometimes I think my kids behaviors are like little problems that I need to solve. How can I help my son not be angry? How can I help my baby sleep? And probably the biggest problem - How do I keep my composure and not get frustrated in the process? I used to think that the kids were the ones learning the most through this parent-child relationship, but now I realize that I am learning some of the toughest lessons that life has to teach.

Both kids are up from their naps now. Caleb is happy. He hasn't tried to throw one toy at me. Natalie is happy. She gave me a huge grin when I rescued her from her crib. One of the great things about kids is that they quickly forgive you for whatever it was you did to make them angry or sad.

Dinosaurs, Dum Dum, and Black Olives

Today, we met up with Jon, Julie, and their family in Manhattan. First we went to the Natural History Museum. I learned that I need to watch "Night at the Museum" to find out who "Dum Dum" is. Some of the kids were sad to find out he (Dum Dum) didn't really talk to them. After the museum, we went to Grimaldi's....the best pizza place in NYC. I was also reminded that olives in New York are not the same olives you get on Domino's Pizza. Our little food trooper Natalie still liked the New York olives though. I guess she is a real New Yorker or a child that will eat anything. Tonight in his prayers, Caleb said, "Thank you that the Dinosaurs are dead, and the animals are not." He really does love dinosaurs, but he is glad they are not alive to eat us.