Busy Weeks and A Peaceful Sunday

Our New Busy Life

I have not written much, because we have been busy lately. I started teaching early morning seminary, and it has been wonderful! I love it, but as I anticipated, I have had to let go of some other activities. Most of these activities are not that important anyways, so it has been good for me to filter out what is not a high priority in my life...like television. Writing in this blog has also taken a hit. Hopefully, I will figure out a way to still write during this busy year.

From August 20 to September 18, we had three sets of visitors. It was so fun for family to come visit. We love NYC, and we love our family. When family come to visit, it is like we are on vacation too. We get to do fun tourist activities with them. The highlights of this month of visitors included:
1. Going to a Mets game with Kayla and Trent.
2. Eating out at yummy places with David and Talia. I especially loved going to Serendipity. The frozen hot chocolate is worth the wait.
3. Seeing The Addams Family with Sherrie, Maren, and Keilani.

We were so happy for our visitors, because we are not able to travel much right now. Our funds are low, and plane tickets across the country are pricey. We are so thankful that these people were willing to come out. We have a line up of visitors for the Fall, who we are also looking forward to seeing.

Teaching on the Fly and Listening to the Spirit

At the beginning of church today, the Bishop came up to me and said what every member dreads to hear. "Our third speaker isn't going to make it today. Would you be willing to share your testimony with us?" He said I could talk a little about seminary, or whatever I wanted to talk about. Now that I am teaching seminary, I do feel more capable of just talking about the gospel at any given moment, but I was still anxious about this situation. What should I say? Should I talk about what it is like to teach seminary? Should I talk about how great the kids are? Should I talk about the Savior or Joseph Smith or the Doctrine & Covenants? Should I talk about serving in the church and doing things that are hard? All these thoughts were rolling around in my head. I was anxious for the first 20 minutes of sacrament meeting, and then I knew what I should say.

I decided I would talk about part of the Plan of Salvation. My seminary lesson on the Plan of Salvation did make an impact on my life, and it would be easy for me to bear testimony about it. I specifically wanted to talk about what it means to "act for ourselves and not to be acted upon." This is found in 2 Nephi Chapter 2. We spent some time discussing this idea in seminary. I like this concept, because this is one of our big tests in life. Once I decided to share this scripture and bear testimony about it, I felt completely at peace. So, I listened and enjoyed the first twotalks.

The first speaker also talked a little about the Plan of Salvation. He ended up giving a longer talk than anticipated. The second speaker was my friend and neighbor (who I did not know was giving a talk today or the topic she was speaking on). Keep in mind I had already decided what I would say. She got up and she started to speak about Agency. She specifically mentioned this idea of acting for ourselves and not being acted upon. I was so amazed, because her talk was so similar to the ideas that I felt I should share. She also mentioned the Plan of Salvation. By the time she finished her talk, we were out of time, and I was not needed to speak after all. I was fine with that, but I was really impressed with this whole experience.

I felt anxiety when I did not know what to say, and then once I realized the right thing to say, I felt peace. The amazing thing is that the message I was prompted to share was the message my neighbor was ready to share. I hope this makes sense. From this experience, I learned that the Spirit can guide us, and when we are guided in the right direction, we will feel peace.

Learning from the Scriptures

I also learned some great lessons in Gospel Doctrine today. I didn't expect to, because I was watching Natalie and Rick was in a YM presidency meeting. They keep scheduling these during Gospel Doctrine. Any way, the last time I was alone with Natalie during Gospel Doctrine I was hardly able to listen to the lesson. Today was different. We were talking about Isaiah ch 40-49. I really didn't expect this to make an impact on me, but it did.

To better explain this, let me start from last Sunday. Caleb has been having a tough time with me not being in Primary any more. Last Sunday he was "kicked out" of Primary. I don't think he was being disruptive. I guess he was acting sick, and they thought he wasn't well. He was just fine. He just didn't want to be there. A couple days later at school, Caleb ended up yelling loudly at the teacher who was teaching that day. He was so angry, and he came home super angry. At one point that afternoon I put him in time out until he could calm down. I frequently do this with him, and he will calm down in about five minutes or so. On this day, he was not calming down. After about 20 minutes of him being hysterical, I had to hold him until he calmed down.

So, I have had a rough week with Caleb. The following thoughts have been going through my head...How many times do I have to tell him not to yell inside? How many times do I have to tell him not to antagonize his sister? When will he be able to behave appropriately? When will he be able to act for himself and not be acted upon? I can't wait for the day when he will be able to make his own decisions without my help. Will he be able to make good choices someday?

Okay. Back to Isaiah. These are some of the scriptures we read, and they seemed to speak directly to me and these concerns I have had with Caleb. Isaiah 40:28-31. The Lord never gets weary of us and our mistakes and our slowness to learn. If we wait upon the Lord, then we can also develop this strength and not be weary. I have felt weary with teaching Caleb, but I should call upon the Lord and try to be more like him. I should be more patient with Caleb's learning process.

Isaiah 44:3-4. Just as the Lord can pour water upon him who is thirsty, he can pour his spirit upon our seed and bless our offspring. And they (the offspring) shall spring up. I do worry about Caleb, and wonder if he will ever get it. Will he understand the gospel someday? Will he behave appropriately someday? I need to trust in the Lord and the blessings of the temple and know that he can "spring up" and be blessed with the Lord's spirit.

Isaiah 46:3-4. There is a metaphor here of the Lord carrying the house of Jacob from the womb until they are of old age and have grey hairs. It seems like the Lord is being compared to a parent, but really he is greater than a parent. Most parents look forward to their children moving out when they are 18, long before their children start getting grey hairs. The Lord will carry us our whole life. This is consistent with him never being weary of us. Maybe I shouldn't look so forward to the day of being relieved from caring for my children. The Lord is willing to carry us our whole life. What great love. I should also try to display this love.

Last one...Isaiah 49:15-16. Again the Lord is compared to a parent - specifically a mother. Can a woman forget her child? She may, but the Lord will not forget. He has engraven us upon the palms of his hands. Our walls are continually before him. This may sound a bit sacrilegious, but I feel like my c-section scar is "engraven" upon me. It is just a reminder of bringing these children into this world, and knowing that I am their mother. The real message here is that the Lord will never forget us and our walls are continually before him. Can I love as the Lord does and continually be aware of the walls my children face? At this point for Caleb, it is behavioral, but someday it could be more serious.

There were many other wonderful passages we talked about today, but these were the ones that spoke to me.

To anyone still reading, sorry to write such a long post. I just had an uplifting day, and I wanted to write it down so I don't forget it.

Labor Day - The Unofficial End to Summer

Today was one of those rare occasions when every member of our family was home. To celebrate this day, we took advantage of the public pool. It was the last day the pool would be open until next summer. We had to seize the day and brave the pool, even though we were a little worried about how warm it would be.

At the beginning of the summer, I hoped that Caleb would be able to swim by the end of the summer. He is super great at jumping into the pool. Maybe he is too great at it, because when we go to the pool, he likes to jump over and over again. In fact, as I am writing this, I am realizing why I have had a constant bruise on my arm all summer. When Caleb normally jumps into the pool, I am holding Natalie, and I try to catch Caleb with one arm. That one arm has had a bruise on it for most of the summer. I just realized why. Back to swimming. Today we had Rick in the pool with us, which made things much easier. Rick was helping Caleb swim, and then I asked Caleb to swim to me. I tricked him a little, because as I saw him swim closer to me, I kept backing up to encourage him to swim farther. He finally gave up swimming to me, and swam to the edge of the pool instead. We estimated that he swam about 12 feet on his own! It was so awesome. He was proud of himself, and Rick and I praised him with huge grins on our faces. We were unable to convince him to do this again, but we were still super proud of him.

Natalie is also quite the character at the pool. She loves the pool, and even if Caleb and me get cold, she still stays warm. The cool water doesn't seem to bother her. There is about a 1 foot edge on the pool that is covered by the water. Natalie loves to sit on the edge and crawl along it. She amazes the people nearby, because she can lift herself out of the pool by holding onto this edge and she can ease herself back into the pool. She just holds on to this edge, even though there is 3 feet of water below her. Don't worry, I am normally within arms distance of her. She also likes to "jump" into the pool, just like her brother, and then lay on the cement with him when he is drying off. At the beginning of the summer, a lady at the pool taught Natalie how to wag her finger in a "No, No, No" fashion. It is pretty cute. I should probably try to record it and post it on here.

Our pool day was cold, but it was fun to be together as a family. Caleb and I did get cold, and then we laid on the cement to dry off. The cement was so warm after the cool pool. As I laid there smelling the ground, I had memories of my own childhood and swimming. I was amazed at how relaxing this was. Seriously, everyone should try it, even if you are an adult.

This past weekend David & Talia visited us. We had so much fun with them exploring NYC, and eating at some of the most delicious restaurants. I especially enjoyed holding their baby Landon. He was so sweet and innocent. He reminded me how fast babies grow up. Caleb especially loved playing with David, who he referred to as a "big kid" and Caleb was the "little kid". This might have confused Caleb a little bit, because he was surprised to find out Landon was David's son. He didn't know "kids" could have sons. Talia and I also had a much needed girls outing to Serendipity 3 for the best chocolate drink I have ever had. It makes me smile to think about it.

The pool is closing. David, Talia, & Landon left. The leaves are starting to change...a little bit. Summer is ending. Caleb swam about 12 feet. Natalie learned how to walk this summer. It is a good thing Fall is so amazing around here, otherwise I would be more sad for summer to end. We are also looking forward to a visit next week from Grandma and more aunts. Yay! Maybe we will hold onto summer a little bit longer.

Natalie's Pivot Trick and other Talents

Natalie is walking all over the place now. Sometimes she looks like a sailor drunk on milk as she toddles around our apartment. Now that she is walking, her pivot trick has died out, but I want to remember that she used to do this all the time. This video showcases her talent...



What else is going on with Natalie at 15 months? Well, we think she will be an obedient child. Many times, I ask Caleb to do something, and then I notice that Natalie is trying to follow through with my directions. For example, if I ask Caleb to put his shoes on, many times he acts like he doesn't hear me. I will start to get impatient, but then I will turn around and see Natalie is picking out her shoes and trying to put them on her feet. What a sweetie.

Recently, I heard Natalie wake up from a nap. She wasn't crying, just chattering in her room. I sneaked into her room to see what she was up to. It turns out she was talking to a stuffed animal in her bed. I couldn't understand what the conversation was about, but she seemed to be happy about it.

Now that Natalie is walking, she has a new favorite place in our apartment. It is the fridge. Poor Natalie, how much longer until I don't tease her about food. She loves to pound on the fridge until Rick or I go and open the door for her. Sometimes she just likes to look in, but most of the time she wants a glass of milk.

Natalie is also following in her brother's footsteps with a love for books. She loves to look at books. Many times she will grab a book and climb onto Caleb's toddler size bed to read to herself. She even likes to babble to herself while she looks at a picture book...many times the book is upside down.

At this moment, my family is trying to make some new house rules that have to do with bedtime. Caleb suggested, "No stepping on people's heads." Good rule Caleb. I better go join them.

Called to Serve

A little over a week ago, our bishop called me up and wanted to meet with Rick and me. He requested to come by our home, which is a little out of the ordinary compared to other callings that I have received in the past. He didn't even say he was coming to call me to something, he just said he wanted to come by and visit. When he came, he started to talk to me about what my time schedule was like and whether I would be willing to serve more in the church. I really had no idea where he was going with all of this. Rick and I are planning to move away in less than a year. It didn't make sense that he would call me to be a president of an organization, and I doubt he would make a house call to place me in a presidency. I really wasn't sure what was going on. Rick anticipated what was happening, but I didn't understand until the words were actually stated. "We are considering calling you to be an EARLY morning seminary teacher." Early morning seminary...I was in a bit of shock.

I have had a range of emotions go through my head since that evening. The first was definitely shock. The next thoughts I had were a sense of possibility. Rick and I could make this happen. Logically, I could attend seminary and be home before Rick had to go to work. Our kids sleep through the night (for the most part), and I do not feel overwhelmed in other aspects of my life right now. Yes. I could do this. I told the bishop that I probably could be a seminary teacher, and I even thought it could be a great opportunity for our family. He told me it WILL be a great opportunity for our family.

The next range of thoughts to go through my head had to do with doubt and inadequacy. How could I be a seminary teacher? Sure I know the scriptures, but there are so many other people who seem to know them better than I do. I thought of my previous seminary teachers who seemed so much more experienced in life than me. I thought of trying to prepare lessons and wondering when and how I could realistically do this. The doubt definitely came in, but I tried to not let it linger.

Soon after my doubtful thoughts I began to be excited again. I was going to be teaching Doctrine & Covenants and Church History. I have a great opportunity to study Joseph Smith and the restoration of the church. I thought of my connection to church history. Our family has been to most of the church history sites, which I thought would be useful as I teach this year. I also thought of my own family history and how great it will be to understand more about my own ancestors and their role in the restoration of the gospel.

Even though this excited feeling had crowded out my doubts, I still felt a twinge of anxiety over the task of teaching five days a week at 6 AM! A couple days after the bishop visited with me, our friend and neighbor - who is also on the high council - came by to officially extend the calling of seminary teacher to me. He immediately set me apart. I don't remember the specifics of the blessing. It extended to our family and to my students. The thing I remember the most about this blessing is that my feeling of anxiety was gone. It has been gone ever since. Now, I am excited and at peace with what this year will bring.

In preparation, I have been reading the RS/Priesthood manual on Joseph Smith. Previously, I had only read a couple chapters in this book, because I was attending Primary the two years that the RS studied this book. I am enjoying this manual and I am gaining a stronger testimony of the restoration of the church. A couple thoughts that have stood out to me are: 1 - The church was restored line upon line and 2- The Book of Mormon was essential to the organization of the church. Rick's mom also sent me a book that I started reading entitled "Becoming a Great Gospel Teacher". I have only started this book, but it looks promising, plus it is endorsed by Sherrie, a Great Seminary Teacher.

I realize there are some things I will have to sacrifice to make this calling work. I might be watching less television this coming year. I just got back into reading novels since Natalie was born. I am worried that my novel reading will also be put on hold. And, I started this blog. I hope that I will still find time to write. I love writing our "Family Journal" in this blog.

I do think the spirit has been preparing me for this. Even though I was shocked to learn about this new opportunity, the thought of teaching seminary had crossed my mind before. I would even say teaching seminary has crossed my mind a handful of times. Each time, I thought, that would be cool, but I quickly dismissed the thought. Who really dwells on the idea of teaching a class at 6 AM? I think the spirit was preparing me. The week before this call, a friend of mine from high school reminded me of a female seminary teacher who was truly a great teacher. I was reminded of the great impact she had on the LDS students at my high school. Lastly, the day the Bishop came to visit us, I attended institute that day. The class was all about Joseph Smith, and we watched a seminary video. The video was new. After the class, I thought how wonderful it would be to teach seminary and see all the other videos on the DVD. I also wished that I had been to more institute classes to learn more about Joseph Smith. As my shock was wearing off, I was reminded of some of these thoughts, and I realized that the spirit really had been preparing me for this calling.

Today, we got a new bishopric in our ward. It is satisfying to realize the great work the previous bishopric has done, and it is exciting to see the hope and testimony of the new bishopric coming in. I love that our church functions through volunteer service. People are willing to serve, because of their testimony of Jesus Christ. That is why we give of our time to help bring others and ourselves to Christ.

Naming the Blog and other Calebisms

I have been thinking about starting a blog for some time, but my biggest hang up was trying to figure out what to name it. I wanted it to be clever. I wanted it to have meaning. I wanted it to be original and witty. As I tried to think over different phrases, I kept coming back to something Caleb said in his evening prayers. For about a week, Caleb prayed, "Thank you for our great family." It really touched me. It isn't that original or catchy. Our blog's name might even sound a bit egotistical, but it has meaning, because it sincerely came from our son. I don't want to write about how great we are, but I do want to write about how great our life is together, and how great it is to have a family. With the ups and the downs.

Lately, when I have punished Caleb, he likes to place the blame on me. If I tell him he can't have dessert before he finishes his dinner, he defiantly calls me a "Bad Mom!" Or, if he gets put in timeout for carelessly knocking Natalie down, I definitely get the bad mom label. I try to explain to him that he is being punished for his own actions, but it is taking awhile to set in. Today, he resisted going to quiet time. When I closed his door I inevitably started to hear my infamous phrase, but today he changed it. "You're a b...good mom, but you use bad words!" I stood outside his room and almost burst out laughing. He said it a couple times, so I know it was not an accident. He may not understand some of the things I do, but at least he recognizes that I am overall "good" too him.

Last night I went to check on Caleb, after a dramatic bedtime ending. He was already asleep. I felt bad that I had been harsh with him, but he did try to come out of his room about 10 times. Rick is still out of town, and I think Caleb is trying to push his limits with me. I knelt down by his bed, and I tried to explain to my sleeping four year old how sad I was to be sharp with him, and that I really did love him. I'm glad that I went in there, because I noticed five different books nestled in his bed. There were a couple in the sheets, one was laying against his arm, and another was wedged under his back. As I discovered each book, I smiled bigger and bigger. Even though I would like for him to go to sleep at bedtime, I was proud that he likes to read so much. I was also happy that he found another way to occupy his time other than trying to escape from his room.

Life is a Gift!

Yay! I actually uploaded a picture. This blog won't just be about words. It will just mostly be words. Like most things in my life, this is a work in progress. I am so impressed with some of the postings in the blogger world. Maybe someday I will have fancy pictures, but for now I am happy just recording about my family and our life together. Please bear with the words.

I like this family picture, because right before we took it Caleb wrapped his arms around our necks and held us in tight. Like we were his best buddies. It was so natural and fun. I don't think we showed him how to do that. He just did it on his own. Natalie is at least looking at the camera. She looks like she wants to get down and crawl around. Sorry Natalie - it is tough to get us all smiling at once. This picture captured more of Caleb's personality than anything.

Rick is away right now. He left for Mike's memorial service on Friday night. We miss him. He left about 24 hours after the kids and I got back into town. Thursday night we were all home, and then Friday we were taking him back to the airport. I am so glad Rick went to WA for Mike's memorial service. I think it was a positive experience for him to see Mike's family and his old friends. Rick is also visiting with his family, which I know makes him so happy. Jay leaves for his mission in two weeks, so I am glad Rick was able to see him one more time before Jay leaves the country.

I can't speak for Rick on this, but Mike's passing has left a strong impression on me. He was Rick's friend, but I am glad that I knew him too. Mike's death has given many people a chance to reflect on the life he lived. Mike really enjoyed life. He was passionate about life. He was adventurous and creative. I remember him sharing music with me, and books, and poetry, and outdoor activities. He really knew how to live. I am sure he had his down times - like all of us - but I did not notice them as much. He was always fun in my mind. So, the greatest message I have gained through Mike's tragic ending is to live life to the fullest. Enjoy life.

The other thoughts running through my head deal with the Plan of Salvation. This life is a gift. We came to this earth to be happy. Which is one reason why the Plan of Salvation is also known as the Plan of Happiness. This earth life is a huge part of that plan. The other comforting part of that plan is knowing that we live again after we die. I don't even know if it is best to say "live again". Our spirit really does go on living. There is no end. I know that when our time on earth ends, our life does not end. I know that Mike's family will see him again. That is such a comforting thought to me.

Here is a link to Jennifer's blog. Jennifer is Mike's wife. She has an amazing way with words. She has sincerely described the life Mike lived and the heartache of losing him. I hope it is okay if I share her blog. I think her posts have been beautiful, and they really have strengthened me. http://lovecatandcaterpillargirl.blogspot.com/